Par-tay, Par-tay...

So, it may seem odd to you that I'm so excited about the fact that my six year old went to a birthday party today.

But I am. I am. I am.

This is not the first invitation (did I mention the school we are at is wonderful?) but it is the first one that Billy decided he would accept. I'm always offending parents by telling them that Billy's idea of hell is a kids birthday party, so we should probably say no... but this Mother wouldn't accept my apology and said we should come, and see what happens.

So, we did. Actually I didn't, I had to work. But Billy and he-who-thinks-blogs-are-stupid went. And perhaps that was the key to a successful adventure. No mummy fuss.

There were reptiles (big drawcard) and a dog (I'm guessing not in the same place as the reptiles)... so the prospect of lots of kids was a little less daunting. I also sent them with the most successful possible present (didn't want any grade 1 back-room talk about Billy's daggy present choices)...

And here's the best bit of the party story. When it was sing Happy Birthday time, the reptile lady suggested all the kids sing as loudly as they could. And one boy, who is in Billy's class at school stood up and said, 'No. We can't sing loud. That would upset Billy.'

That alone makes me confident that Billy will live in a better adult world than I do... that a child was willing to stand up and make a claim for his sensory needs, to advocate for him... that's pretty sweet.

And so, like a selected few of his classmates, Billy came back home with a snake tattoo, a bag of Hershey's chocolate, a plastic eyeball and a bunch of stories abut everything that happened.

Very exciting.

Of course, now we have set a precedent. Now we have to engage with this whole birthday party game, which - to be honest, I was hoping I could avoid. I thought this could be one of the upsides to autism... now we have to give birthday parties too.

Ah well... as long as he's happy!

How Do You Ignore This?

ME: How do you feel when you are at school?

BILLY: Scared.

ME: Really?

BILLY: Yes.

ME: What makes you scared?

BILLY: The kids' noise.

ME: What can I do to make it better?

BILLY: Don't leave me.

Aw, crap.

More Summer Tales (Tails)

We've had a hell of a time getting Billy into the water.

It's one of the things that changes all the time in his life. The bath has almost always been OK, but the ocean, creeks and swimming pools have all been in and out of vogue at various levels of sensory awareness and regulation.

And again, here's where the dog comes in.

Scruffy loves water, and if Scruffy loves something, there's every chance Billy will give it a go.

Unfortunately for Scruffy, dog claws and inflatable swimming pools don't mix (as we learned last summer).

Billy was kind enough to take the time to explain the situation carefully to Scruffy.

On other matters... inflatable swimming pools are awesome for Billy, and I'm assuming for anyone with sensory issues.

The water, the bouncing potential on the walls of the pool, the safe contained nature of the experience... it's all good.

Did I mention how well he sleeps when he's been bouncing about in the water?

Not that we're enjoying having our bed back or anything...

Summer Boy

This song (Summer by Josh Pyke) is the theme behind a pay-tv channel summer promo at the moment.

And Billy loves it. I know he likes it because it's repeated endlessly on TV, and so he's memorised it quickly. But he loves the meaning too.

He sat down today, after singing along to this song, and said, 'I love the summer, Mummy... I really love the summer.'

For the uninitiated, that means no school, no timetable, to pressure, lots of trampoline and dog walking.

If only we could hold this time in our hand for a bit longer.

Or make the world a little easier to handle.

School, blah... and I'm not even a kid

Billy's not looking forward to going back to school, and to be honest... I'm not looking forward to sending him.

He's at the best school in the universe. Truly, it's fabulous. It's brilliant. But for Billy, it's hell.

Too fast, too loud... school is a blur.

I tried to contextualise autism for his peers when he started last year. I'll share this, in the hope that it might help other families with mainstreamed ASD kids.

Print it, share it, use it (if it rings true to you)

Imagine if…

You had a bee buzzing around your head

And someone asked you to say the alphabet backwards

Imagine if…

You were in the middle of a really loud rock concert

And someone wanted you to name all your aunts and uncles

Imagine if…

You were wearing three pairs of gloves

And someone told you to eat a box of sultanas one by one

That’s what things are like for me, a lot of the time.

I’m autistic.

Your brain is like the inside of a computer, full of connections and wires

With messages to your body whizzing around telling you what to do

My brain looks the same as yours, except some connections work really well, and some work really differently.

And my brain wires can get crossed really easily.

So, if I’m doing something a bit funny looking… try not to laugh at me.

It’s just one of my brain connections clearing itself out.

And if I tell you something over and over… just ask me to stop repeating.

It’s just one of my wires plugged into the wrong socket.

And, if I freak out at some sound that you think is really normal… maybe help me get away from the sound.

It’s just because my ears have their own unique volume control.

And, if you think I’m ignoring you… I’m not.

I’m probably just focussed on something else, like a tiny spider on the ceiling on the other side of the room.

Autism is a different way of seeing the world.

And seeing things the way I see them is awesome, but it makes me really tired sometimes.

So, I might not always understand what’s going on.

And, I might need time by myself to think things through.

Or, I might crash or jump or swing for a while to straighten myself out

Don’t worry if I don’t always do things the way you do.

Try to imagine what it’s like inside my head, then you’ll see…

I’m not being rude

I’m not being naughty

I’m not sick

I’m autistic

And I’m just being me.

Motor Skills and Brain Skills Unite!

Mummy, I can hop!

And so he can.

Just like that. This morning he couldn't, this evening he can. Something clicked, some shift of thinking and doing... and so, he can hop.

So many times, our coalition of ASD mothers talk about these surges. It seems like you've been working on something (or secretly embarrassed about the lack of something) and then, boom, it's there.

The school holidays are about to end, and I seriously hope this run of development won't end with them.

This morning, Billy sat down at my computer and started to type. He asked how to spell the word 'because' and wondered about the comma (he was right). But here is what he wrote:

PREDATOR AND PREY

Cheetah chased a gazelle.

And Lion hunted a zebra.

Tiger caught a deer.

But Leopard did not catch anything.

Poor Leopard.

Leopard chased a warthog.

He caught one.

Then lion caught a warthog.

Then cheetah caught a warthog.

Then tiger caught a wild pig, because warthogs are African animals.

By Billy

19 January 2010

6 years old

OK, so we've watched too much David Attenborough, and read too many school readers but... that's not bad for 6 years old.

The autistic part of this story is if we asked him to write that story on paper, it wold take approximately three years. He would be sweating and lying on the ground for that whole time, rising only to scrawl a backwards letter the size of a small planet on top of the letter before...

But give the boy a keyboard, and he's Ernest Hemingway.

:)

Pearls of Billy Wisdom

Something interesting's happened over these holidays.

All of a sudden, Billy's developed the ability to explain, in his own words, some of his idiosyncrasies. His autistic quirks.

First there was the statement to his Nanna, that he 'hates people'. Qualified with 'I don't hate people, I hate all of the people in the same place as me.'

Then, while he was struggling with waiting for me to secure his seat belt, anxiety building, I asked him why he was getting upset. He said, 'This makes me want to get away'. I asked whether he wanted us to get going on our car trip, and he said, 'No... on my inside, I feel like I want to get away. I just don't want to be here.' I'd call that an excellent description of anxiety.

He has a lot of jerking movements that he cannot control. He told us recently, it feels good when he jerks his arms. He said it feels like a hug makes him feel.

The other day, he explained why he squints sometimes, or looks out of the corner or his eye, or uses one of his hands as a kind of visual guide, in front of his eyes. He said it 'pulls things together, so he can see them being still.' I'm a bit scared by what that means really, what the hell is going on with his vision?

But, my fears aside, it's amazing to start getting some insight into the way he sees the world, and how he feels the world... I think being to explain, makes it much easier for him too.

I tell you, you wouldn't wake up screaming for it in the night, but autism is amazing. Without wanting to sound like I'm some creepy voyeur, it's taught us a lot about life, people, respect, empathy... I could go on and on...