Things autism has taught me...

They occur to me all the time, and I think I should start writing them down.

1. A person is not the sum of what they are able to communicate to me

It strikes me all the time that Billy is so much more than what people see. We get so used to judging people by what they tell us or show us. And Billy probably shows the rest of the world around 10% of what he's got on any given day. Maybe even less. Some days he doesn't talk. Some days he doesn't even look. Some days he is a charming chatterbox. Some days he is Animal Planet stuck on repeat.

So, if were not familiar with autism, and you met him for the first time on a mute day? You'd probably think, 'Man, that kid's pretty limited/quiet/dumb/whatever'... without realising that he's got a huge amount more going on in there.

So, beyond ASD, I really should remember that. People are not just what I see them being, or hear them being, or am told they are.

2. Animals are not just good for postcards with captions

Non-verbal communicating entities are awesome. They take the pressure for understanding away. They open the doors for genuine reciprocated communication. They just don't use words, which is great, because words coupled with facial expressions, body movements and social context are really confusing.

If you don't believe me, have a chat to a dog... they truly don't care what you are saying, they're generally just happy to listen. It makes you feel good. It makes you relax.

3. The world is really loud

It is. It really is. We know this because sometimes it's just not possible to make Billy calm. Because... the world is too loud.

Here are some thing that are loud, that I never thought about:

- the kettle boiling first thing in the morning

- an owl hooting, especially if it's a recorded part of a soundtrack

- xylophones and chime bars in backing music

- crackling, scrunching plastic bags

All big surprises to me.

That's it for now. Like famous people dying, these things tend to come in threes.

Feel free to add your own observations in comments. We can build our understanding together!

When autism meets Japanese culture

Billy's aunt and cousin are Japanese. It's an awesome part of all of our lives, to have people so close, and yet coming from such a different place (physically and culturally).

This Christmas, Thomas the Tank Engine has given way to animals. He brought a huge collection of animals on holiday with him, and one morning we found this...

And then, a little later... this...



And none of it was done by the autistic person in the room.

He had a secret smile on his face as he took in the systematic, organised and yet highly creative work of his cousin and aunt.

Ad then, he ran through and mixed them all up again!

The First Post

I'm insane.

I write for a living, and now I'm going to write for leisure too...

But it feels right. If I can just work out how to make this thing look right, and sound right and feel right... no pressure now.

I've got a total gem of a little boy, Billy. He's just turned six, and he's the happiest kid I know. He wants to be a zoo keeper, and I can't think of a reason why he shouldn't achieve his dreams. He can tell you anything you need to know about just about any animal. His favourite 'tv character' is David Attenborough. He especially loves African animals, but really anything with fur, fins or feathers gets a look in... along with Thomas and Friends.

He doesn't like kids much. They talk to much, too fast, too loudly. He watches them carefully, and talks to a few. But, for the most part... kids and Billy don't really mix. Adults, on the other hand, are OK. As long as they don't fire questions at him and yell.

He has a dog that he loves. They are best friends. Not much can get between Billy and Scruffy. Except barking... Billy doesn't like barking.

Most of all, Billy loves his family. He is most comfortable with us. He loves life. He loves going on adventures. He loves group hugs and curling up with Mummy and Daddy.

Our greatest hope is that the world will get to know the Billy we know.

Billy is autistic.

We often say, there's nothing wrong with him, it's the world that's got him all wrong.

:)